As a new year begins, and fresh opportunities await, I can't help but pause to look back. Perhaps it's the writer in me, but I need to reflect, examine, and preserve the memories.
Pondering on 2012, one fact stood clear. My walk with God was never closer - but different.
This past year, God worked through me more than ever before. And I realized bit by bit, piece by piece, what a change he's made in me.
In the beginning God worked on me.
He molded and shaped me, pruning me for the person I would become. Bumps in the road built a hard exterior, self protection. Stubborn independence. Strong willed. Yet, God had a plan in all that mess. With every imperfection, it taught me lessons, even if years later. Even if sometimes, I still forget.
Over time, his whispers became louder. Unfortunately, for me, it took two tragedies to wake up and hear him. During my recovery from our wreck, God's role in my life again changed.
Through pain, he began to work in me.
I learned to Be Still. To be grateful for each sunrise. To count my blessings. To listen for his voice. Through him, I became stronger than I ever could on my own.
In great loss, I learned again to lean on him. To fall at his feet. That peace - and even joy - could only come from his loving hand. I learned to let go...
And now, this past year, in giving him the reigns, He began to work through me.
It's been amazing to see what He can do, when I just let go and let God.
Submission is probably one of my greatest faults. But God knows how to take all our weaknesses and build them up with his foundation. It just takes us having the faith to trust him. For someone who likes to be in control, this is not an easy task. I don't even like the word - submissive. But I dislike the opposite of it even more. I don't want to be disobedient, fighting, intractable, resistant, or unyielding with God. Because of this, I willingly submit to him.