"Joy is not the absence of suffering. It is the presence of God."

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Great Worth

Some days I struggle with being enough.

Ever feel like this?

To be the wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend I need to be.  The list goes on and on.  As a woman, it seems a natural tendency to compare ourselves against others.  To wish to be as pretty, funny, organized, together, or successful as someone else.

This morning, for some reason, I was feeling very less than.  As if all my shortcomings just came flooding across my mind.  A movie of negativity.  Over and over I replayed things I did or didn't do and everywhere I fell short.

I'm pushing 40.  My weight has never been where I wanted it to be.  I've started over in a career. These facts make it very easy to focus on my weaknesses and where I am not enough.  

And then God whispered...

Your value doesn't come from numbers.  

Whether it be your age, the scales, or the amount on your paycheck.  This does not equal your worth.

My value doesn't come from numbers.  Yes, I repeated this to myself over and again.

My value comes from the One who created me, who knew me before I was formed, and says I'm more precious than rubies.  And that is where your value comes from too...

You are not a number.
You are beautiful.
And more than enough.

Monday, April 20, 2015

It is Well

I left my dr's office on a high last Wednesday.  It was the first time I'd been there in a year, since my last physical.  The scale showed a lower number (yay, me!) and I had nothing to complain about.  In fact, the doctor and I just sat there chatting about loving life.  What a treat!

That in itself was worth throwing a party.  For I can't remember a year in the past decade that I didn't frequent the doctor on multiple occasions.  There truly is something to be said for reducing your stress and how it affects your health.  Although more exposed in my current job to illnesses, I'm sick way less often.

However, despite sanitizing and upping my immune boost, I left my wellness visit with an unknown illness.  Isn't that ironic?  The next day a tickle in my throat and fatigue was a tapping on my shoulder.  Try as I might to ignore it, by Friday, I was in the bed with a migraine.

So not the way I planned to spend my afternoon off.  Or weekend.

Just about everything I had planned was pretty much thrown out the window.  That sunshiny window of spring beckoned me from my bed.  Boxes still surrounded all the rooms of my house and the living room begged to be put back together.  My closet still hasn't been swapped out for the season.  And my spring cleaning list hasn't been completely checked off.

The goal was to use my Friday afternoon to knock a bunch of it out and surprise the family.  Instead they got the shock of finding me bundled up on my couch when they arrived home.

Normally, I would love a do-nothing weekend.  Cuddling up on the couch is one of my favorite ways to spend the day.  But not when I had other plans.  Sadness.

And isn't that just how it often goes?  It's easy to never be satisfied with our current situation.  To long for something else.  To spend so much time complaining or wishing that we end up missing the blessings that are there.

Despite the fact that my ear throbbed continually and my throat still feels like I swallowed thumbtacks, there were many good and simple joyful morsels to be had.  Gladly, I'll count my blessings...

I'm thankful for family that pitched in and helped mom when she was down.  Tim and the kids put the house back together in record time.  (A double date fishing at the lake may have put the pep in our teens' steps though!)  Hubby gladly went shopping for me and went down the girly aisle without hesitation.  Love him!  Even my doggies were extra snuggly, sensing I didn't feel well.

Grateful for a collection of essential oils to help ease what ails me.  Whether soothing my throat or stopping my cough, it's been a blessing to have them.  Messages from friends and family wishing me well from missing church were a sweet surprise.  Glad our church offers a podcast!

I'm fighting sleep deprivation from the coughing spouts and don't recall everything from the weekend, but last night when my son and I were giggling for no apparent reason, I remember lifting up thanks in the very moment.  It physically hurt to laugh, which just made nothing even funnier.

And today, I'm thankful for not needing many sick days the past year as I need two days off to recuperate from this nasty bug!  Yes, it stinks to suffer through a virus, but no matter how bad I feel, it is always well, well within my soul.

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